It is a known fact that sometimes, spouses cheat. I think it has something to do with being deathly afraid that even though you said your vows, you will only be experiencing one penis or vagina for the rest of your life. It also probably has a lot to do with insecurity. However, dissolving a marriage over something like cheating isn’t always the smartest choice.
Some people would rather try and work through these things than break up their family, settle up their assets, and join dim dating sites like ***********.com.
An expert on the psychology of relationships has the following non-traditional advice for couples that want to work through infidelity and try and salvage a marriage:
1.
Don’t spy.
You may
think it’s cute to dress all in black and go on wine and macaroon-fueled
stake-outs with your girlfriends, but when you snoop, you are actually
undermining your own integrity. Cheating is a breach of trust, but so is snooping.
When adultery enters a marriage, then, the said marriage is in need of a
leader, not a follower. Take the high road.
2.
Stick with it.
Most affairs don’t last more than a year, so if you
have been with your spouse for 15, you should consider working it out, and then
working to repair your trust.
3.
Be kind.
This is probably the hardest part, because your
inclination will be to act as cruel to your spouse as you feel they are acting
towards you. In this situation, apply the golden rule and treat your husband or
wife the way you want to be treated, that way whatever justification they are
using for their infidelity will fall apart in flurry of breakfasts in bed, and
Eskimo kisses.
1.
Get sexy.
Touching your spouse is probably the last thing you
want to do, but it makes sense if you think about it. Showing your husband or
wife what they will be missing if they go elsewhere is a good way to remind
them who they fell in love with in the first place. Withholding sex will only
give them more reason to stray. If you have never tried anal before, now is
probably the time. Pull out the big guns, and put your relationship back
together.
This advice may seem counter-intuitive, but that’s the point. There really is no right way to deal with a situation like this, but if you are in it for the long haul with someone you might want to think twice about making any rash decisions. At the end of the day, we are all humans that make mistakes, and sometimes ending a 20-year marriage over a 20-day fling just isn’t worth it.
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